Who's Da Boss?

Laughing out loud! I laugh as I remember this story Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya loved to tell about how a guy was in his ‘heat’ and just couldn’t seem to control himself and wanted to sleep with his girlfriend. As they were about to get down to the business, the lady told the guy she had something important to tell him and the guy who was already ‘charged’ and ready told her to spit out whatever it was she had to say as she was ruining the mood. She said, ‘sweetheart, before we go on, I just need you to know that I’m HIV positive and I love you very much’. Your guess is as good as mine. The guy’s ‘battery’ went flat. (Laughing)


Many times situations, feelings and emotions come our way and they tend to overwhelm us such that we feel helpless and unable to control or discipline ourselves. You come across that beautiful necklace/cool phone you know you shouldn’t buy because it will set back your budget a great deal but you go ahead to buy it anyway as you can’t seem to help yourself. You know you shouldn’t eat those chocolates and ice cream but they just seem to have your name on it, one cup wouldn’t hurt, or would it?

For God hath not given us the Spirit of fear, but of power, love and self control (sound mind). 2 Tim 1:7. Different versions interchange the words self control and sound mind, so we could invariably say to have self control is to have a sound mind. So, when you seem not to be able to control yourself, your mind isn’t in a sane state. We control and discipline ourselves because we want to conform to a certain standard we seek to pattern our lives after. We could say to have self control (discipline) means to make one’s self steady and consistent to a pattern and not deviate from that standard. The flesh naturally wants to do whatever it pleases, but it is the Spirit of God that makes us realize that everything is lawful, but not everything is expedient (profitable). 1 Cor 6: 12 – 13 tells us that we can do anything we want to, but not everything is good for us and that we are not supposed to do indecent things with our bodies but to use them for God who owns and dwells in our bodies.

There comes that stage in every courtship when our hormones seem to be raging out of control and we just can’t seem to hold out any longer, and so to help ourselves, we go first base, second base, but not actually ‘all the way’, after all, it’s pre-marital sex God frowns at and not kissing, necking, petting and its likes. Most peeps like to say there’s no scripture in the bible where God condemns kissing etc. This is true but I know a scripture that says we should flee every APPEARANCE of evil, not evil itself, wouldn’t you agree with me that kissing, necking and petting are appearances of sex, isn’t that what is called foreplay? Some guys tell me they can control themselves when they are into the preambles and would not necessarily go all the way, and then I ask them, the last time you were kissing her, what were your hands doing? We really need to understand that fornication and sexual immorality is not only about the act alone, it involves the mind. It is not until you ‘do the do’ with a lady that you fornicate, merely undressing a woman with your eyes is sexual immorality!

In Proverbs 5, instructions were given to King Solomon that he might have sound judgement! The first was to flee immoral women. This reminds me of what Pastor Kunle Soriyan once said that when you are involved with sexual sin, you withdraw from your bank of influence, I mean don’t we all remember Samson, the mighty man of valor, what brought him down? His weakness, his untamed sexuality.

For real, the ‘gish gish’, ‘lets get down’ feeling is there, perhaps almost everytime you see him/her, in fact my pastor likes to say that as a man, if you don’t feel like grabbing or sleeping with your intended, you need to rethink your choice; but I would like you to get it out of you that you cannot control yourself, because you can! The flesh (our mind) constantly wars with our Spirit man (The Word) and at each time, our choice decides if we conquer sin or not. It’s always about a choice, but making the choice is easy when the Holy Spirit is in control, because He will prompt you and help you to stand if you yield to Him.

1 Cor 6 tells us that sexual sin is a sin against our body in a way no other sin is. The significance of this is that our body belongs to God, He paid a great price to redeem us and we owe it to Him to honor our bodies, His temple, where His Spirit dwells. Sometimes, we really need to sit down and ask ourselves why we uphold and believe in the values that we have, because an understanding will help to erect the right and safe boundaries. If you understand that sexual sin is a destiny destroyer, killer (slow poison) and kingdom inheritance thief, you might want to rethink kissing and fondling each other. I like to say what we won’t eat; we shouldn’t bring it close to our noses. If you know you don’t want to sleep with her yet, why on earth are you fondling her breasts? Another man’s wife (because she’s not yours yet)? Seed time and harvest. Trust becomes an issue when you eventually marry because you believe if she could give it to you while you were still dating; she probably could to anyone else as she doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal.

Engagement is not a pass for sex, the only pass God gives is marriage. Ladies, I believe it is more unto us to help our men. Men are naturally physical beings and tend to ‘burn with passion’, sex they say is a very good way to relieve pressure. We shouldn’t tempt them unnecessarily and put them in helpless positions. I believe that if a man wants to sleep with his girlfriend and she refuses, except he rapes her, there’s nothing he can do. In the way we dress, conduct and compose ourselves, we need to try not to arouse and set our men on ‘fire’ unnecessarily.

Sex alone is not the only spiritual tie that binds the two souls involved. I remember this power night in school, where the invited minister told us about a man that was being oppressed n ruled by a spirit, such that the man was misbehaving and sleeping with anybody and thing. People kept their female relations away from him. Through a prayer session, God revealed that the origin/entrance of the spirit into the man’s life happened through kissing a girl. Unknown to the man, through that contact, she passed that spirit to him. People, be guided. If Christ has set you free, please don’t by yourself put the chains on again.

The bible says that those who find it hard to control themselves should marry, and so, for those of us unmarried, we are expected to control and keep ourselves from sexual sin. If we couldn’t do it, He wouldn’t have said we could. It may be difficult, but His grace helps. Pray. Erect safe boundaries and stick with them. Watch what you take into you through your eyes and ears. His Spirit gives us liberty to do what we want, but we should know that not everything is good for us and we have to REFUSE to let anything have power over us. 1 Cor 6:12. The next time your body is telling you, ‘go and do’, you tell it who THE BOSS is!

Much love.

ON A STRONG THING LEVEL

She dey push my buttons, dial my number……..she dey do me strong thing, no be small thing. Yeah, that’s Banky W singing STRONG THING, or something that sounds like that. Quite a number of us have had someone do us a ‘strong thing’ or we have done unto some people ‘strong things’ (laughing out loud) either ways, and you might wanna agree with Banky W when he says, ‘no be small thing ’. Shall we then call a ‘strong thing’ love? Perhaps I should try to describe what a strong thing is like.

You know when you think about a person and you start to get goose pimples, or you see the person and your heart starts to run a marathon, beating so fast and when you hear his/her voice, you just ‘melt’. Your thought usually revolves around that person and he/she can do no wrong. He’s/she’s probably the most wonderful person on earth. You dream about this person, probably saying I do’s, (laughing), and you long to hold this certain someone in your arms and just cuddle, or more. Did I forget to mention that ‘butterflies’ become tenants in your stomach when this person is around you and he/she just gives you ‘the fever’, you know that ‘gish gish’ feeling. You are seriously tripped and on a rollercoaster, life is certainly beautiful.

This ‘strong thing’ is a feeling of attraction. Don’t even begin to mistake it for love. I have heard people say diverse things about two people getting together. Some say to hell with the feelings, what have they got to do with love? Some say the feelings are not that important, what matters is who the person really is; the choice of a partner should not be based on an attraction and a whole lot of stuff.

When a guy sets his sight upon a lady and sets out to woo her, I sometimes wonder why he chose her out of the rest of the pack. I mean he must have had options, but what made him decide it had to be her? Her sense of style? Her personality? Her physique? Her brains? Her aura? Guys you would agree with me that the first thing that attracts you to a woman is usually her outlook, that’s what piques your interest and makes you want to take a closer look. While you are taking a closer look, you might find some qualities you have been searching for in a woman and your heart begins to get involved. May I just say at this point that ‘love at first sight’ don’t mean nothing to me, it doesn’t exist, and that is because you cannot love what you do not know, contrary to what people think, love is a choice, and so I would say it’s more of ‘attraction at first sight’.

A lot of us mistake this feeling of attraction for love and hereby get ourselves all emotionally tangled up. That a man opens the door for you, or takes you out, or buys you roses, sends you romantic texts and gifts does not mean he loves you, when a man has gotten to know your weaknesses and faults and can still say no matter who you are or what you have done he still values you the same, sees you as no lesser than you are and accepts you for who you are unconditionally, then you can say he loves you. Now don’t get me wrong, all the above listed attributes are evidences of his affection and when true love is present, it naturally births giving (For God so loved the world, He GAVE His only son…). So, one of the ways you can know when a man/woman loves you is how much of himself/herself the person gives to you, not necessarily the material things.

Usually, couples are on the ‘strong thing’ level at the initial stage of their relationship, where they haven’t
really gotten to know each other’s character. When individual character begins to find its way out through fronts and facades, then the ‘strong thing’ begins to reduce to nothing. At this point, sometimes, you cannot even phantom what you saw in the person that made you say yes initially.

I would personally say that I wouldn’t dream of going into a relationship with a man I feel nothing for, or who
does not do me a ‘strong thing’. That means that for me to say yes to a man, apart from finding some certain
qualities in him, I must be attracted to him, that’s what sets him apart from the pack. The attraction doesn’t only have to be about his outlook, might be his mind, might be his person, but an attraction is what piques my interest.
While it’s ok to start on a ‘strong thing’ level, it is essential that we outgrow this level as soon as we can, and
be able to control our emotions and feelings. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to be consumed and controlled by our feelings and emotions, lest we lose our reasoning. When people say love is blind, I say mine would see. Your feelings alone should never be the reason why you would say yes to a man or ask a lady out. This is because feelings are fleeting; they are subject to the ‘weather’. So, if your relationship is based on just feelings, then preserving it when the distress and disagreements come becomes herculean as your feeling at that time will naturally take up the temperature of distress. But when you back up the feelings with certain unique qualities this person has, shared values, dreams, visions, goals and destinations, then when the differences start showing up, you can go back to your common solid ground and fight it with that.

We also have to be careful how we handle the ‘strong thing’ level so we don’t make mistakes we may regret. Based on the rollercoaster emotions and feelings we might be experiencing, some of us might be carried away and lose self control. You begin to bond unnecessarily, and engage in pre-marital sex. While you are on that level, erect boundaries that would protect you and stick with those boundaries. People say boundaries could be hard to follow, I have worked with boundaries and they have worked for me. Seek God’s help and strength to stay true to your beliefs and values. Avoid tempting scenarios, when you are not going to eat meat, you shouldn’t bother to bring it close to your nose. Flee every APPEARANCE of evil, not evil itself.

I actually believe that even till and in marriage, couples should still do each other ‘strong things’ but at this
stage, they would have gone through a lot together, weathered storms and if and when you and your partner have gone through your differences, disagreements, fights, arguments and distress and you still come out doing each other ‘strong things’, then I would say you have reached your place of stability, ‘a permanent thing’.

Much love.

HEARTBREAK HOTEL?

The heart of a man is the essence of his soul, his place of feelings and emotions. It is where we love, hurt, grudge, plot and conceive things; no wonder God says to us, ‘guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life’. This means that everything that pertains to life takes root in your heart and it will direct the course of your life.


Now if the heart is essential for your living and could determine the outcome and kind of life you live, shouldn’t you be paying a lot of attention to what you allow in, out and to take root in your heart? The bible also says that, ‘the heart of man is desperately wicked’. This tells me that the natural man, no matter how much he tries will lean towards conceiving evil in his heart, it is only natural and he is taking up the normal characteristic of the flesh. You may think and say to yourself, does it mean once I am born again, my heart ceases to be wicked? ‘If any man be (is consistent) in Christ, he is a new creature, old things have passed away and behold, all things become new’. With your re-birth in Christ comes a new heart and as you grow in Him, the Holy Spirit ministers to and guides your heart, provided you let Him. The natural man will give in to his fleshy desires (Gal 5: 19 – 21) and such person will not be a partaker of the blessings of God’s kingdom but the spirit man is guided by the Spirit and so can overcome his flesh. Gal 5: 25 tells us that God’s spirit gives us life and so we should allow ourselves to be led by His spirit. Note that your will and choice is involved. You have to decide to allow His Spirit rule you; you have to let your will be overridden by His spirit. In as much as the Holy Spirit is in control and guides your heart, it is your responsibility to guard your heart and watch what you allow in and out of it. If you allow ‘filth’, the Holy Spirit cannot stand it hence you gradually will silence Him in you.

Where am I going? I have tried to establish the importance of having our heart governed by the right authority, for it to be in the right condition and also to emphasize that we decide the state and affairs of our heart. Stop to think. For God to have said ‘GUARD your heart’, that means you are protecting it against something. It means there would be issues, thoughts, situations and circumstances that would want to bring or stir up the wrong emotions and feelings in us, but it is within our power to control and decide how we let these issues ‘enter’ our hearts. Haven said this; you might understand me when I say to people that no man can break my heart, because I wouldn’t even give him the opportunity to. Does this sound unreal and mouthy to you? Well, it is what I have come to see and believe. Now, a man could hurt me, but he cannot break my heart, there is a difference.

Many a times when a relationship hits the rock, it splits and one or both hearts are said to be ‘shattered’ into bits. Oh yea? If them hearts are shattered, then geez these people shouldn’t be alive, that’s on a lighter note. Based on who and what ends the relationship, especially if one person cheated, the other person seems to think the world has come to an end and perhaps cannot find it in his/her heart to love again. I tell you if you allow that, you are exactly where the devil wants you. When your heart is in ‘pieces’, how can issues of life spring forth? I have heard stories of how a girl commits suicide because her fiancé called the relationship quits and how a guy became a wreck because his girl married someone else, and then they say these people destroyed their lives, you might even know some of them. How can someone have such power over another person’s life? Shall we call that love?

The first thing you need to ask yourself is who owns and governs your heart? That guy/babe you love so much, who gave him/her to you? I love God because He first loved me. I make bold to say that the reason why a guy/girl can break your heart is because you probably have not made God your first love and no 1 ‘sweetheart’. Perhaps that guy/chic has taken His place in your life. I say this because if indeed God holds the first and foremost position in your heart and life, in spite what anyone does and irrespective of what happens, you would know that all things work together for your good. Now I know some of you may be thinking, she probably hasn’t experienced it and that’s why she thinks like this. I have been hurt (maybe not in the context of a guy jilting me, but I know what a hurting heart feels like), time and again, I felt the pain but I didn’t let it shatter me, I didn’t let it destroy me, I didn’t allow it put in me the inability to trust again, I didn’t let it put in me the inability to give of myself again, I didn’t let it lead me to make some harsh decisions, I didn’t let it make me decide to ‘use and dump’ people, I didn’t let it keep me from loving totally again’. People will hurt and disappoint us, but the good news is we don’t have to handle these hurts and disappointments alone. We need to get to that point where we can turn our disappointments no matter what they are over to God and begin to see them as His appointments.

Who says that guy/ girl is the best person for you? You might think you wouldn’t find another person as wonderful as he/she is but where God is in control of your life, always know that ALL things, (no matter how disappointing and ‘heartbreaking’ they are) work together for your GOOD! Stop limiting yourself in your thoughts. I like to think this way, if a guy should tell me he doesn’t think he can continue with our relationship and he wants out, of course, I would want reasons and would try to see how to work it out, but, if and when his mind is made up, I really cannot force him and while based on how I feel about him and how all the time and effort I have invested in the relationship seems to be coming to naught, I would say to myself, ‘well, it was worthwhile knowing him, but I guess God has someone better planned for me. Perhaps he’s not right for my purpose. If with all my efforts, he wants out, perhaps he is not right for me and its better he leaves so the right person can come my way. If he has decided on another girl, I say it’s his loss because I know my worth and what I ‘carry’ and I know I am an ideal woman. I am glad because through the relationship, I influenced him positively and so wherever he goes he would always remember me for those things’. As a man will think in his heart, so he will become. Your thoughts have a healing effect on your emotions. Think right, the way God will want you to. I doubt He would want you to think the hope of a partner is doomed because that would mean you don’t trust Him. That in essence could be God’s way of taking you two apart; because He is merciful enough not to allow you make a mistake. If he/she is God’s will for you, it will come to pass.


So, people, the next time you want to throw a pity party and wallow in your ‘heartbreak’, I suggest you stop to think of what exactly you are saying to God. I ain’t saying don’t pour out your hurts, I am saying turn them over to Him and let Him work and walk you through ‘em.


Much love.

GO ALL DA WAY.

'If you say so', I said to him. He was trying frantically to make me believe him and what he explained, but just to humour him, I said those words. I had made up my mind he was lying and even if he was telling the truth this time, I couldn't be bothered.

Do you feel this way about people sometimes? Your heart desperately wants to believe them, but your head tells you different? You try so hard to find the truth in his/her explanations and reasons, but that sixth sense tells you it ain't gonna be different this time, why should it be?

For me to build a lasting and worthwhile relationship with anyone at all, trust and credibility cannot be compromised, and it goes way deeper than the face value. Recently, someone who I had rated high on the integrity and credibility scale came crashing and it took only one instance for that transit. What happened? Financial purity; an ability to handle finances with integrity, trustworthiness; letting your 'yes' be 'yes', discipline; knowing your focus and working against all odds to attain it, attitude; taking people for granted. Those were majorly the issues that came up.
Those who say that first impression matters a lot and lingers for a great while speak the truth, but I tell you if someone makes a good first impression with me and somehow along the way proves to be without integrity and trustworthiness, I lose interest in the person like 'snap'. Likewise, If I have a friend who cannot trust me and take my word for what it means, we wouldn't go far. Now, this is just me, I don't know how it works for everyone, but I want to believe no one likes being told, 'you are a liar', or'why are such a cheat?' as well as I am guessing you most likely would stay away from people who lie to you and take advantage of you, or who cheat on you.

Guys, just how would feel when you find out your girl's been 'up and about', doing stuff you didn't know off? By stuff I mean sharing her heart, emotions, love and body with someone else? I'm guessing it'ld be like a knife piercing your heart and you cannot seem to breathe (except you do not truly love her). You would suffer an ego blow as I have come to find out especially in my part of the world that no sane man likes to share his woman.

I have tried to create an awareness of the importance of trust in relationships. Just like air is to life, so is trust to a longlasting n worthwhile relationship. Trust is what lets you know you can go to sleep (with both eyes closed) and trust that your possessions and even you won't be sold. Trust is that situation/emotion such that you can lay down your will and vouch for something/someone. Trust is what makes you give your heart wholly and fully in a relationship, or not. Quite some of my male friends tell me they gotta be 'insured' as they cannot afford a woman toiling with their heart and emotions and so, they keep a part of themselves away, not fully involving their hearts in the hope that if and when she messes up, they don't get so hurt n broken.It simply means trust isn't present such that the slightest action or involvment of their gal can be miscontrued. Know that when you do not give yourself fully and wholly to something, you cannot get the best out of it. Half measures are no measures. I hear my mum's voice right now saying what she loves to say, 'whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well'. The bible tells us to use our God given gifts and talents very well that they might bring glory to the giver. 'Whatever you do, do it with all your heart.....'

Trust is not a guarantee that you will not get hurt or disappointed, it is a step of faith that you will not be. The fact that we can fail should not hinder us from launching out. Life in essence is lived by faith. Each night you lay your head to rest, you believe you will wake the next day and so you make plans. A relationship without trust would be shaky and come to an eventual fall. Such a relationship favours hearsays and grapevine, suspicion is not far and a lot of disrespect and hurt is always out to play. Check it, why do u think a man/lady is offended and gets on the defensive when he/she is quizzed about his/her movements by the partner...the next question usually is, 'don't you trust me?'


Trust is not automatic, it has to be earned. It is a choice. You put your trust in something you hope for or believe in. You decide you can stick out your neck for a person you trust and can vouch for. You cannot trust someone you do not know and sometimes, even when you think you do know them, you get disappointed and that is why it is important that we becareful in how we trust and who we trust in. I trust God and I know He would never fail me because failure I know ain't His nature. I trust my parents to always tell me the truth whether I want to hear it or not. I trust my siblings to always look out for me. I trust my childhood friends to always bring me back to my senses. I have decided to trust that my husband would give his best to groom me to my best. I trust these people because I know them and they have earned my trust. Marriage involves trusting that the person you are commiting your life to will cherish it just like you do. You want to build your relationship on the solid rock, trust ain't negotiable. Build your integrity level and watch the respect it brings to you.


Much love.

Bonnie n Clyde?

I see a girl with a guy sometimes and I wonder how on earth and in heaven both of them got together. You look into some relationships and tend to say, ‘that girl is too good for him, or she doesn’t deserve that kind of guy’. I ain’t a judge over anybody but the mind cannot just help trying to comprehend some things. Every human is a different person, unique in his/her right, and while our differences bring about the variety that spices up our world, (I mean if everyone were the same this world would be a boring and stereotyped place), there is that place of compatibility in our relationships and associations. Can two walk together except they agree?


I like to study people a lot, sometimes I feel I should have majored in Human Psychology as it comes to me naturally, even in my sub-conscious, and so I know that a person’s personality is influenced by his upbringing, environment and mindset. Our personality is the ‘face’ we present to people, which could be true or false. It’s the way people perceive us, while our character is the true person that we are which is influenced by the values and credos we have imbibed. Three things generally influence or define a person; his temperament, his personality and his character.

I would like you to ask yourself this, ‘what attracts me to a person?’ If you are a lady, ‘what attracts me to a man?’ and vice versa. Do you know what you desire in your man/woman? Do you have it written down? A lot of people don’t even really know what they desire and should look out for in their partners, and so they tend to take any ‘good’ thing that comes their way, though it might not be a God thing! There’s that acceptable will of God for our lives and His perfect will. I don’t know about you, but I want His perfect will for me. If you do not know who you are, then you cannot know who/what kind of person would suit you. If you don’t know where you are going and have not discovered your purpose, you wouldn’t know the right person to take with you to help you get ‘there’ and fulfill your purpose. Some guys ask me out and I say to myself, what exactly was this guy thinking about? We got nothing in common! Yes, opposites attract, like poles repel, this might be true, let’s apply that fact in physics but when it comes to our relationships, there are some areas where like poles just have to attract! There are those core aspects of a person’s life where you need someone with a like mind, else you would be asking for trouble. I mean I cannot imagine myself in a relationship with anyone who doesn’t share my faith, what would be the basis and foundation of the relationship? Sharing it isn’t even all; we have to agree spiritually, with similar or higher beliefs, attitude and commitment to God. If I believe in seeding and tithing and my partner doesn’t; the day I am led to sow all my income would my partner understand and support my decision?

Before you say yes to that man, and before you decide this is the woman you want to be with, you need to ask yourselves a whole lot of questions to find out if you really suit each other and you are not just being delusional. Are you compatible? Do your lives agree or conflict? Are you on the same page spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, morally, socially, academically, and physically? I’m not saying everything has to necessarily be the same, but do you complement each other? Can he live up to your taste and social class or is he trying not to be intimidated? Are your moral values similar? What does he/she consider to be morally right or wrong? Does he challenge your mind? Can she hold her own in a conversation or she’s just comfortable in letting her opinions slide and yours override and you think she’s submissive?

Marriage is a partnership that involves both parties helping each other to achieve purpose and fulfill destiny and to bring forth children unto the Lord. A lot of homes are in turmoil because the couples did not take out time to find out if they were well suited for each other, and so after the whole wedding paparazzi wears off, reality begins to set in and then the rain suddenly stops falling and the vision is sharp. Why don’t you take out time to set the vision now and see clearly. What are those signs you have been ignoring? The institution of marriage cannot be joked with as it will direct the course of your life. Is the person you have decided to entrust your life to worth it? Can you trust him/her to stay true to you and nurture you? Are you sure he/she won’t sabotage your future in his/her interest? Do you agree on issues? How do you resolve conflicts? Is he/she selfish and self- centered?

Stop compromising in the quality of your relationships. Not everybody should have an access to you because of proximity. It is on you to choose who you associate with, because every relationship you allow would either make or mar you. You have to understand that whether you like it or not, the company you keep would influence you, so choose the kind of influence you want in your life. Our life is directed by our choices n decisions. The company of fools shall be destroyed; those who walk with the wise shall be wise; evil communication will always corrupt good manners. I’m not saying we should begin to segregate and judge people, there’s a certain level of relationship we can maintain without letting ourselves be influenced, e.g. our colleagues, business partners, classmates, but where close associations are involved, and you have given these people access to your life, then you need to be sure they would help you get to your destination and not tear you down. Remember, iron sharpeneth iron, copper can’t do that work. If you are gold, be sure you settle for nothing less than gold, even if it takes refining, be sure it is gold!


Much love.

WHILE YOU WAIT.

Yes, for real, there comes that time in our lives when all we want is just to have someone special to call our own. Someone to share your life with. Someone who gets you like no one does, someone who’s on the same page with you, someone who excites you, cares for you and nutures you. Valentine’s day upon valentine’s day roll by each year and when you see different couples with different styles of celebrating love, you say to yourself; where in Heavens is this ‘special someone?’ Where’s ‘prince charming’, or the ‘queen of my heart’? Why is he/she taking so long to show up? Im not getting younger. In a bid to be encouraged you say to yourself, I’ll be patient, it pays to be patient. I’ll wait for the right person, for that special someone, but you know deep within you that that’s easier said than done, because everytime you think about it, it weighs you down. Ok, check now, maybe this is the reason he/she hasn’t shown up, that attitude is just not right!


You are in a waiting period, or is it a searching period? You have a destination. You have a dream. Instead of despair, you should enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going! Some weeks ago in church while pastor was teaching about relationships, he celebrated the singles and made them realize that that stage is a blessed stage. That is the time you have to set your template and create the kind of life you want to live.

What are you doing while you wait for that special someone? Are you ready? The singles life is a somewhat free life. There is no better time to work on yourself. That is the time to build your values and principles. That is the time to prune your excesses and bad habits. That is the time to seek God, not just because you need a partner, but because you need Him in your life. That is the time to actively work for God, forget about finding that special one and concentrate on your walk with God. He already said that He would keep in perfect peace he whose heart is stayed on Him. Where’s your heart? When your heart is given to God, He'll lead it to where your treasure lies. It’s not the time to go after series of trial and error dating which most times turns out less fun than you thought it would be and could lead to you missing it. God knows the desires of our hearts, He put them there and He is a respecter of our ability to choose and decide. He knows what is best for us and that is why we should just hand it over to Him and focus on getting our selves ready. You want the right person, have you made yourself right? We may think we have read all the books, studied all that there is to know, maybe we even counsel some of our friends in relationships, but, it may shock you to know that by God’s standards you are not even near set to go. It may just be that tiny winny little thing He’s been convicting you of that’s holding ‘things’ from happening. For some, there are just somethings that are not in place that if the special one were to show up, it could spell trouble. His thoughts towards us are of good, not evil to bring us to our expected ends.

Now, instead of wallowing and sighing in your despair, rise up and begin to live a single, but sassy life. Grow in your spiritual walk, improve on you, work on your weaknesses, build up your strengths, discover who you really are if you don’t know, get your purpose clear(when you know where you are going, you can’t just afford to take anything that comes your way), fan your gifts to flame, develop your potentials, make yourself an asset and at the appointed time, the line will fall for you in a pleasant place.


I remember this soundtrack from the movie FIREPROOF……

While I’m waiting, I will serve You,
While I’m waiting, I will worship,
While I’m waiting, I will not faint,
I’ll be running the race even while I wait.

I don’t know about you, but I have decided I’m gonna be single, sassy and satisfied? Haha, then I wouldn’t be true, no, I won’t be satisfied with being single but I sure will ENJOY it, while it lasts.

Much love.