'If you say so', I said to him. He was trying frantically to make me believe him and what he explained, but just to humour him, I said those words. I had made up my mind he was lying and even if he was telling the truth this time, I couldn't be bothered.
Do you feel this way about people sometimes? Your heart desperately wants to believe them, but your head tells you different? You try so hard to find the truth in his/her explanations and reasons, but that sixth sense tells you it ain't gonna be different this time, why should it be?
For me to build a lasting and worthwhile relationship with anyone at all, trust and credibility cannot be compromised, and it goes way deeper than the face value. Recently, someone who I had rated high on the integrity and credibility scale came crashing and it took only one instance for that transit. What happened? Financial purity; an ability to handle finances with integrity, trustworthiness; letting your 'yes' be 'yes', discipline; knowing your focus and working against all odds to attain it, attitude; taking people for granted. Those were majorly the issues that came up.
Those who say that first impression matters a lot and lingers for a great while speak the truth, but I tell you if someone makes a good first impression with me and somehow along the way proves to be without integrity and trustworthiness, I lose interest in the person like 'snap'. Likewise, If I have a friend who cannot trust me and take my word for what it means, we wouldn't go far. Now, this is just me, I don't know how it works for everyone, but I want to believe no one likes being told, 'you are a liar', or'why are such a cheat?' as well as I am guessing you most likely would stay away from people who lie to you and take advantage of you, or who cheat on you.
Guys, just how would feel when you find out your girl's been 'up and about', doing stuff you didn't know off? By stuff I mean sharing her heart, emotions, love and body with someone else? I'm guessing it'ld be like a knife piercing your heart and you cannot seem to breathe (except you do not truly love her). You would suffer an ego blow as I have come to find out especially in my part of the world that no sane man likes to share his woman.
I have tried to create an awareness of the importance of trust in relationships. Just like air is to life, so is trust to a longlasting n worthwhile relationship. Trust is what lets you know you can go to sleep (with both eyes closed) and trust that your possessions and even you won't be sold. Trust is that situation/emotion such that you can lay down your will and vouch for something/someone. Trust is what makes you give your heart wholly and fully in a relationship, or not. Quite some of my male friends tell me they gotta be 'insured' as they cannot afford a woman toiling with their heart and emotions and so, they keep a part of themselves away, not fully involving their hearts in the hope that if and when she messes up, they don't get so hurt n broken.It simply means trust isn't present such that the slightest action or involvment of their gal can be miscontrued. Know that when you do not give yourself fully and wholly to something, you cannot get the best out of it. Half measures are no measures. I hear my mum's voice right now saying what she loves to say, 'whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well'. The bible tells us to use our God given gifts and talents very well that they might bring glory to the giver. 'Whatever you do, do it with all your heart.....'
Trust is not a guarantee that you will not get hurt or disappointed, it is a step of faith that you will not be. The fact that we can fail should not hinder us from launching out. Life in essence is lived by faith. Each night you lay your head to rest, you believe you will wake the next day and so you make plans. A relationship without trust would be shaky and come to an eventual fall. Such a relationship favours hearsays and grapevine, suspicion is not far and a lot of disrespect and hurt is always out to play. Check it, why do u think a man/lady is offended and gets on the defensive when he/she is quizzed about his/her movements by the partner...the next question usually is, 'don't you trust me?'
Trust is not automatic, it has to be earned. It is a choice. You put your trust in something you hope for or believe in. You decide you can stick out your neck for a person you trust and can vouch for. You cannot trust someone you do not know and sometimes, even when you think you do know them, you get disappointed and that is why it is important that we becareful in how we trust and who we trust in. I trust God and I know He would never fail me because failure I know ain't His nature. I trust my parents to always tell me the truth whether I want to hear it or not. I trust my siblings to always look out for me. I trust my childhood friends to always bring me back to my senses. I have decided to trust that my husband would give his best to groom me to my best. I trust these people because I know them and they have earned my trust. Marriage involves trusting that the person you are commiting your life to will cherish it just like you do. You want to build your relationship on the solid rock, trust ain't negotiable. Build your integrity level and watch the respect it brings to you.