Wednesday, August 10, 2011

To Wanna be Starting Something……

Holla peeps! Miss me? :D

It’s been so long, too long! I sincerely apologize for being MIA. At first, I totally lost my writing mojo and just when Mo’ was about to ‘get her groove back’, work became really engaging. My boss recently got promoted and so it’s been a helluva of a workload, additional duties for me and here’s me trying to balance and get acquainted with the new responsibilities which gives me time for nothing more but work, work n some more work. I did try to do blog rounds whenever I could catch some CP time but I know I have missed a lot of gist! Oh well, it’ll get better, soon *fingers crossed* Meanwhile, here’s the flow this time- To Wanna be starting something…….. Enjoy!

Ok,  could you stop the wacko Jacko moves in your mind right now and stop humming for a bit to answer this- Who sets out to build a house and doesn’t stop to first consider its cost? Seriously, who does that? Or who sets his hand to a business and doesn’t stop to consider/envisage what it would entail? No one you know right? Didn’t think so too.

To embark on a fruitful journey, planning and cost evaluation are imperative. From saving for the trip, to making reservations, to shopping and packing up for the trip, it would require good planning to actualize a fruitful and rewarding trip, most of the time. Same as wanting to write an exam….we have to prepare for it to do great in it. ‘He who fails to plan, plans to fail’; this saying ain’t a cliché…it’s the gospel truth my brethren.

So, boy meets girl, and they are really feeling each other, the sparks are there, the chemistry is very on point and amongst all other prospects around them, they have never felt anything as profound as what they feel for each other. So, they decide to take it to the next level and make it official, they become an item.

I ask again, is it ok to begin to build a house just because you desire to or have the funds for it? Is it okay to buy an expensive wristwatch on your tight budget just because you like it? Is it ok to change your major like four times, just because your interest shifts? Is it also expedient to start a relationship just because you have feelings for each other?

Emotions are powerful and can decide a person’s mood and life, same as your thoughts. While feelings can be very profound, they usually are also very fleeting and misleading. One cannot afford to base his/her decisions on feelings, that’s a danger alert right there. What happens when the feeling is gone? When you begin to see clearly because the rain is gone? I cannot help but think that perhaps if people stopped to consider the cost and evaluate the dynamics of starting a relationship before committing to it, the number of breakups, divorces and casualties would reduce.

A relationship shouldn’t be based on what you feel for that person or how you feel about the person, it should be more about what you know about the person. A relationship should be founded on a number of convictions which should be focused and based on compatibility…..can two walk together except they agree?

A friend of mine recently had some boy drama. At least five guys were all around her, seeking to date her, but she particularly was drawn to one and as they interacted she found out she really liked him…….they were just about to make it official when an incidence occurred to cause a break, boy came back asking if they could still be an item and my girl told him she’d consider it. So, she did consider it and it was leaning in the direction of her feelings for him, but thank God for the prayer radar! When dude passed through that radar, he didn’t come through. Turns out he was just a two timing scumbag who was over 30 but had the maturity of an 18-year old! Now, my friend would have eventually discovered that about him, but if she hadn’t been patient with her feelings, if she hadn’t managed her emotions, she would have suffered not only a break up, but a waste of her energy, time and resources oh and some heartache to go with it.

I’m just saying dear people do not let your feelings and emotions decide your actions and decisions, let us try to manage our emotions and act based on what we know and not how we feel. To wanna be starting a relationship, I’m not saying your feelings don’t matter, of course they do! I would never go out with a guy I don’t have feelings for, what I mean though is that the feelings aren’t enough to even start. Back it up with a number of convictions, how compatible are you on many levels? Does he/she complement you well? We should make our decisions because of what we know rather than what we feel…..don’t just start out and see how it goes, if the foundation be faulty, I tell you ain’t building nothing, it would all crumble in due time, don’t build your house without counting its cost.

Give it time, time heals all diseases. Let your feelings and emotions pass through a lot of radars to see if it develops into something more substantial, see if it’s stable, see if it stands, see if you are not deluded. Time will reveal a lot to you. Now, I know there’s only so much you could get to know about a person, but the message is to know just about enough that you need to know to be convinced. It’s relative and that’s where values come to play- talk for another day. I also know that by giving it time, it doesn’t mean the relationship would work out, but the difference is that when you are not controlled by your emotions, you can make rational decisions. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out perhaps for some issues or reasons, you would have had a fruitful and enjoyable time together and can end it amicably. Save yourself some heartache baby, don’t start something only to end it 3 months later, oh that happens, and Ido know some. You feeling the boy/girl? Cool, take it easy and take him/her through a lot of radars. If he/she comes through, then you are good to go. Hey! It’s just my opinion…….:D

Muchos lovos!


@ilola said...

Sistee, you are very correct and a lot of people know all you've mentioned but when the rubber meets the road, they will not hear word. People will still low like a ram to the slaughter. Such is life

Madame Sting said...

You are very right. It would be great if we don't rush into things based on feeling alone.

Giagerry said...

LoL @ the prayer radar and him not passing through! You have said it well o, we should look deeper than our feelings/emotions in every situation. I keep telling myself that I wont be a victim of my emotions, there's more than just emotions in this life such as purpose, direction, the will of GOd--*sigh* so much more than emotions!

oluseun said...

Give it time..pass it thru the radars. lessons learnt ..sincerely I need one single formula for this love could a jargon like almighty quadratic formula or just as simple as "time is money". Kudos! Shey u will do us a romance novel, lets start negotiating upfront

kitkat said...

yea when we make emotional decisions rather than rational ones, it rarely pays off. happy you're back :)

The Enigmatic said...

Thank God you said you wouldn't go for a guy you don't have a feeling for... "A relationship shouldn’t be based on what you feel for that person or how you feel about the person, it should be more about what you know about the person." Yeah; you'r rigth. (Just that you don't get to know the other person enough some times until you get so close.) :D

MsJB said...

You are so right. As a matter of fact, I couldn't add anything. Just nodding all through.

Meanwhile, let's see if you can fit coming around my blog sometimes into that tight schedule you've got. I 'd really appreciate it :)
I'm ffg yours now

Myne Whitman said...

I couldn't agree more with you, so much sense in your post.

Omoregee said... are so right. It is one thing to know the right thing, it is another to abide by it. God help us to do the right thing at the right time......tx!

@Madame know, it would be. Tx for stopping by :)

@Giagerry: So much more sis, so much. Emotions can be useful if managed well, its the management that is the clause. Tx!

@Oluseun.....Ha ha, its not as complicated as it seems buddy.....:D

@kitkat....Rarely babez, rarely. Tx, happy to be back too :)

@The Enigmatic......just know enough to make your decision and to be convinced its not being influenced by your emotions..... that's why u have the radars.......we can never know all about a person, it takes time n we keep learning. Tx :)

@MsJB: Welcome! Nice to have u here.....n tx for following. I like ur blog name, so I'm following already *wink*

@Myne......Tx sis! Glad you agree:D

Anonymous said...

....anything good is worth waiting i don't really like whirlwind romance, such fizzle out fast!

odeniyi said...

Nicely written Yenyy, Insightful and thoughtful too!!! Need I say that your statement... " Let your feelings and emotions pass through a lot of radars to see if it develops into something more substantial.." is so on point and we (both gender) need to check as often as possible to be sure we are not building mansion in thin air. A little observation here..."Give it time, time heals all diseases" God and not "time" heals all disease. Even the disease of the heart. Thanks for sharing.

odeniyi said...

nicely said Ibhade, anything good is worth waiting for

Bomi said...

I definitely agree... thanks for sharing Mo:)! I pray we always remember to "let our feelings and emotions pass through a lot of radars"...before taking the big step! Not just in relationships, but in so many areas of our lives as well. I love the "Prayer radar" - makes so much sense!

Thanks again for the reminder.. Stay blessed:)!


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