Friday, March 11, 2011

What a guy wants…..what a guy needs…..whatever makes him happy…..?

If anyone should ask what I want right now, the list would be- a fabulous job, a behd car, a new phone, IPad, hard drive, a beach house, trip to the Caribbean and if they can wing it- a husband. What do you want?

So, I did this check on FB recently, to get a feel of what the average man wants; note- I didn’t ask what a man wants from his woman, I just put, ‘What do men really want?’ and alas! The larger percentage bent towards demands from a woman (that goes to say they really can’t do without us, now whose world is it? Ha ha!)

P.S- FB is one of the most rewarding means for seeking information, if you know how to use it. It is interesting to know just about how much you can find out on facebook.

Well, the responses varied- from the guy that wants- a good job n a woman that brings happiness to the one who wants- real n rare love and the one who wants- a humble, sincere, intelligent, homely, responsible, mentally strong, caring and God-fearing lady, plus another who feels money and sex is about it. Trust me some answers were eye openers and some, downright hilarious but one particular one got my attention and got me thinking. This pal said and I quote, ‘This is really a tricky question, but lemme answer it this way. This response would be almost solely for the man you choose to love. It’s not something you can give to every man that comes your way although every man craves it. The absolute need is Respect (honour, submission) from his spouse. Not a form of subservience but in love. This crave of man is in the very essence of him, wired in his quest for dominion. Now the trick is once a man can get it from his immediate spouse, the rest is settled from his externals’. I kept turning this over and over in my mind, not because this was a first but it hit me somewhere close to ‘home’. Then I remembered what God said when he created Adam- the first man to ever live. He said, ‘Be fruitful n multiply. Dominate the earth and subdue it’ #gbam!. This was the very WORD……the rev.

It didn’t stop there, I got kinda excited, and so I decided to experiment. I tried this on a couple of unsuspecting male peeps n it worked. In that experiment, I discovered that even if a man doesn’t like you, but you make him feel special and like a king, he will begin to look your way. There’s seems to be something about making a man feel that he owns the world, at least your world that turns him on, so to speak.. Just make him feel like a king and he’d be tripping to please you. This isn’t hearsay, tried it, it worked.

I got excited because it was a challenge to me. On an average, I can be extremely independent and stubborn. My friends once nick-named me ‘no-nonsense’. I don’t condone rubbish, you mess up, I treat your case. Brethren, I started thinking, could this be a minus for me when I’m married? I know I am supposed to submit to my husband, but can I do that even when he messes up, makes me mad or is being irrational? It was reality check time.

I heard something few weeks ago……’the difference between an achiever and a wannabe achiever is confidence. When I thought about it, I had to agree, confidence is like a drug that gives one the leverage to do just about anything. You feel like you can take on the world and fear ain’t got nothing on you. Well, when a man has a woman’s (especially the one he loves) respect, admiration, attention and submission, he has that confidence, and it is a good feeling. Now, a man’s source of confidence shouldn’t necessarily be from his significant other, but when the odds around him are trying to put a damp on his spirit and bring him down, but there’s that one who has made it her duty to make him feel special and loved, those odds become less significant.

It is innate in a man to want to dominate. It is like his God-given role. He wants to be in charge and when he’s not, things aren’t ok. No man wants a woman who can’t listen and submit to him. One person’s gotta wear the pants, and it has to be him. Now, I ain’t married, so I cannot give you a first-hand experience on what submission to a husband should be, but I can tell you what I think.

I think it’s about allowing him take the lead, I think it’s about voicing my opinion but not always insisting on it. I think it’s about constant respect, no matter what he does or doesn’t do. I think it’s about meeting his needs, I think it’s about the way I talk to him, being able to disagree and differ without being overbearing. I think it’s about encouraging him relentlessly. I don’t think submission is enslavement neither do I think it’s about keeping quiet when you know he is wrong. I don’t think it’s about letting him take you for granted constantly neither do I think it’s about letting him get away with bad/destructive behavior.

Like that my pal wisely said, this ain’t for every man but for that special man….and He even said, ‘wives, be ye submissive unto your husbands’, not women, be submissive to men. The recipe I believe Christ gave for marriage is LOVE and SUBMISSION. ‘Husbands, love your wives……..’ ‘Wives, be submissive…….’ That says a whole lot.

Ok, this is just my opinion, am I wrong? What do you think?

Much love.


Adedamola Jayeola said...

Nice blog.great write-up. A lot of women really need to learn how to submit,but i think more importantly,women need to stop believing what they read in "Mills and Boom" and love tales that operate on a fictitious approach to relationships. Men are different,and there are no two people who are the same. Most times deciding to build a future with a man as a lady would mean you 'growing' along with him,if you have as much as dedicated yourself,instead of looking for a flimsy reason as incompatibility to jump out(say after a long time)....And let me just add that most guys are NOT as silly,callous,stupid or wicked as most women think.There are still a lot of us daring,brainy,smart and focused brothers out there,searching,looking out and hoping for that special someone.All the best!

H said...

Absolutely lovely post.

LOL...I liked the fact that you experimented. Yea I observed this as well.

U're funny, "I don’t condone rubbish, you mess up, I treat your case"

I think it makes perfect sense. The key word is that there's that special man cuz truthfully there are other factors involved but submission is very major.

Sometimes some people over submit that they become like slaves and lose a lot of character. The kinda of men I've noticed my interest in like to hear what I have to say and how I feel before they take the next step but truthfully giving them the impression that they're kings works like

My aunt once said, "plant an idea that you know is the right way and make him think like he though about it and you'd be fine..."

H said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
oluSimeon said...

you have said it all and you said it well.

Omoregee said...

@Adedamola.......indeed, M&B has kept many a people in dreamland, most of the scenarios the paint are just impractical. True, everyone has their individuality n its not subject to their gender.......its comforting to know good guys still abound :)
Thanks for stopping by....

@H......:D, yes o, no-nonsense,thats moi! Slavery is tantamount to 'over-submission' Marriage is a partnership, n when opinions differ, the woman is content to let hers slide n his override, but that don't mean he should take undue advantage of her......but erm, your aunt is very wise o.....words of wisdom! We women do have our way after all...hahahaha.
Thanks for commenting.

@oluSimeon.....I am glad you think so, thanks for stopping by :)

kitkat said...

lovely post. i think guy's definitely like women feeding their huge ego's. if i like a guy, i'll compliment him a lot jst to see him blush,lol. It does wonders on their ego is what i heard :p

Omoregee said...

@kitkat.......Lol@ complimenting a guy to see him blush......the ego thingy is a big issue when it comes to the male gender, I am yet to meet a man who can stand his ego being touched, even in the slightest bit.

Thanks for stopping by :)

Dee! said...

You are so so RIGHT! Preach on!

Great post!

Omoregee said...

@Dee.....thanks for reading :)

Natural Nigerian said...

I think submission is a rather challenging river to navigate.

Women must learn how to submit without totally losing themselves in the process.

Mena UkodoisReady said...

I come across a number of blogs with these questionnaire thingy at the end and dont get why people dont click it? I alwways do, lol, goody two

Ok to the topic: Great topic, great answers great experiments and thanks for the bible quotes in it, all in all inspirational.

// I tried this on a couple of unsuspecting male peeps n it worked.//

men are a strange bunch. The men you tried it on with sees you as something new, to be conquered etc, they may not react the same way if you were the partners in their lives.

I think all men want sex, free sex if possible. From the pastor who marry another woman 24 hours after wife dies, to tiger woods and his harem. If one can throw in a decent meal and a place to sleep all the better.

Now we have to settled the sex sde, down to specifics. I dont know what happened but a growing number of 'single & available' guys are running away from responsibilities attached to being called 'a man'. I think some nigerian men are looking for a way out of the present pressure and will not hesitate to grab an opportunity to flee. Hence the lies about being single or hiding the fact they are keeping families in various continents. or the tales about being unhappy in current marriage. It seems to many men want to be the 'house husband' who brings nothing to the 'union' but a penis?

This situation have forced women to be more man-like and aggressive in protecting herself or ensuring she makes something of herself as she cant rely on a man

Now how would you expect such an ambitious, go getting, succesful lady to submit to such a weakling of a man? I mean oga no job, no drive, full of baggage and lies? sleeps all day, brings out one new 'business idea'for her to support financially which folds up yet again, brings nothing to the union but his manhood and zest for sex?

A man in such a situation is almost a woman na, when she no be lesbian

disclaimer: Not ALL men oh, just a growing number of single, available Nigerian men, home and

The responsible, loving, hardworking alpha male type of single man is out there but in low numbers :)

Daughter of Her King said...

@ Mena I do see your point of view. But I also think that women should be able to suss this out in courtship. You must have seen some traits in your husband to be before you saying YES, some funky intolerable traits should make one think twice (like the words of omoregee, I don't tolerate nonsense, I treat your case). Treat his case sharp sharp. Besides, the measure you take is the measure you will keep receiving. So, I think for some women it is jolly good when they are with men such traits.

Yes great men are low in numbers just like great women are low in numbers. Great can mean different things for different people. Great for me is someone that is outstanding and seems to have it together at all times etc.

@ Omoregee I like the paragraph on submission, well defined and explained. I believe a man will value and love a woman with respect for him, and woman will love to respect a man that has love for her....
Submission is great and it takes grace to do it. God will keep teaching us.

I used to know someone with your name, she was a really cool dancer(random sentence, lol).

Daughter of Her King said...

I like your picture looks like you are welcoming something from above, or referencing something... sha the image is very captivating for me...

Just thought I mentioned that....

Omoregee said...

@ Natural Nigerian.....I totally agree with u. Tx for reading :)

@Mena......well, it is true that men like sex, but if that were it, all they need to do is see a prostitute but with that also comes something more....n true, great men exist but do not abound. Tx for reading :)

@Daughter of Her King......Yes dear.....Love n submission are entwined n reciprocal. I say Amen.

Awwww, Tx a bunch, thats just me waiting on the flows *wink*

....n I am a cool dancer(at least I like to think

Really appreciate all your inputs on my posts....You're like my sister from another mother :)

HoneyDame said...

You are definitely right on all counts. I am having an aha moment because even boys of young ages still have that feeling of dominion. I am totally with you on that keeping quiet even when you know he is wrong. It is a huge challenge, especially for someone like me!!! I am asking for grace and patience and wisdom on a daily basis to deal with my relationship and this post hits home in more ways than one. Nice one ma'am

Diet consult said...

Nice post, and good that you found this out before marriage, quite a number of us have great issues with submission and we chose not to understand it but as the word of God cannot be broken, it works. You will be challenged daily in this area in marriage but ever heard of stooping to rule? The key is not to approach it with the mindset of what you stand to gain but you will gain a lot, chief among them is peace of mind and support from your man. If you got the man from God, then submission is the key for you as a woman, knowing how to submit in each particular case is for you to discover daily in the presence of the Holy Spirit. Does anyone lack wisdom...Let him ask of the Lord. Abundance grace unto you in this walk of faith.


This is very well written.

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