Friday, February 10, 2012

Christian Playa

Happy New Year! Yea, I know, its February….better late than never. I am sorry I have been off this space for about 5 months, a lot kept me away and I cannot apologize enough for not posting anything all this while. Sometimes, when we wish for things, we don’t fully comprehend what they can do to us, but I’m happy to say Omoregee is back! Faithfuls, I thank you and I wanna to let you know the Flow Bearer will be bringing to you the Flows from the Fountain more often now.

This is for my fellas :)

Act 1: Guy meets gal, Guy likes Gal and approaches her for a relationship. Gal gets to know Guy, starts too really like him and has more or less fallen for him. Guy reaches that point where he is supposed to commit but for some reasons (and trust, they were a whole lot of them) he be holding back. Gal is patient and doing the right things to be sure she is not the one holding him back from commitment. Then some lady asks Gal if it’s ok for her sister to date Guy seeing he’s asked her out and she noticed Gal and Guy are ‘good friends’?

Act 2: Babe be chilling on her own, doing her own thing, minding her business when Dude comes along and is acting like he all love struck. Babe finally decides to notice him and actually starts to like him. They getting along fine, Dude can’t stop talking about how great Babe is and how she fits his ideal woman picture and also about how he can’t ask her out just yet because he needs time to sort himself out. Babe is like fine, do what you gotta do, sort yourself out, then Babe finds out Dude actually already got himself sorted out……..with someone else…….

Act 3: Bobo is hot on Sisi’s chase, and is bent on catching her, been on it for awhile actually…..he does catch her and they got a good thing going on. All of a sudden, Bobo is forming busy and Sisi is trying to be understanding but how do you understand after 4 years of being together, Bobo says you are not compatible? Especially when there’s someone else in the equation?

Act 4: Lad and Lass are feeling each other alright; the feeling is mutual and something seems in the works. Lad is saying all the right things, doing all the right things and Lass gradually lets her resistance go day by day but just at about the time when Lass asks for a real commitment, Lad suddenly don’t speako no English……..he dumb all of a sudden and can’t comprehend what she is asking for.

Act 5: Missy and Max have been in a relationship for 3 years, but in the past 3 months, Missy has seen little of Max and has been worried, but she is also preparing for her final exam which puts a lot of pressure on her. Then she gets a call few weeks to exam, someone telling her Max would be getting married the next Saturday and she wasn’t the bride. Of course, she had a resit.

Ok, no, not a figment of my imagination; they are real and actually happened! Christian folks y’all! It’s a trend I have observed nowadays, playas in the church! I know we have a mixture of different people in the congregation, its God’s house and all His children are welcome but I thought a real Christian brother was supposed to bend it like Christ?

You see these brothers are subtle, they come with seemingly good intentions, and I want to believe they are so, but in the end, they turn out to be users and a deceitful lot. I don’t want to believe they set out to toil with a woman’s emotions and feelings; I don’t want to believe they start out to be this way, but somewhere along the line, this is who they are……when they do what they do. When it’s all said and done, the intentions don’t matter, what matters is what has been done. Brother, get it together!

I understand about a man taking his time to count the cost before he makes a commitment. I understand about a man taking out time to study his prospect to see if she is right for him, what I don’t understand though is how a man can be pursuing 2/3 women at the same time? Am I way out of my cocoon’s nest to think it is wrong to do this? You see this ain’t like shopping for a house or school, there are options alright but the consideration should be done BEFORE pursuing that option, for once you are in pursuit of your prospect and you also pursue other options at the same time, you come across as confused. A male friend once said to me, ‘if a guy can be singular in his pursuit of a woman, he is most likely to get her’ I wondered about this and the supporting ideology. I asked him to explain and he said, ‘there is a way a guy comes across when his eyes are on one prize. You can see the seriousness and sincerity in him, he gives it his all because he intends to win’. Ladies are very emotional beings and the guys know this, if you are not sure about an option, it happens, take time out to properly consider but try not to get involved emotionally until you have clarity because things are not pretty when emotions and expectations are messed up. God is good brother, but you will reap what you sow, Watch it!

And why oh why is it difficult to pay the prize when you been all up in the product? You have been enjoying the relationship but when it’s time to commit, you turn around and run. If a man has no intention to go all the way, I believe he has no business coming close, really. Emotions and feelings as fleeting as they may be should not be toiled with; the effects can be very astounding. It’s different when along the way, you find out things you can’t cope with or issues that present incompatibility. No biggie, do the right and honourable thing, have a conversation, dust up and keep it moving but when you want to enjoy the goods without paying the prize, that’s just wrong. Yes, I know there are some ladies who give it up and make it so easy, but dear Christian Brother, should that bring out the playa in you? What would Jesus do?

Ladies, I know we are emotionally susceptible to attention and some sweet words, we like to hear how we rock his world and how we are wonderful, amazing and any man would be lucky to have us, but it’s about time we stop listening and start watching. Watch his actions; do they rhyme with his talk? Watch what he isn’t saying, don’t ignore that inner voice to check that stuff you noticed, the inner voice is usually right. There’s no justifying what a playa does but the truth actually is if he has no one to play with, there ain’t gonna be anyone getting played. Stop letting it go the minute a brother smiles at you, smile back and keep it moving, if he wants you, let him chase you and while he is chasing, be sure he gat what it takes to buy before you sell out, no point crying over spilt milk. We can keep our emotions in check till we are sure it is for real. We have a lot to protect, our self esteem, our dignity, our hearts- the essence of our beings, our future, our destiny and if some brothers don’t recognize the importance of these things, we owe it to ourselves to teach ‘em and let them know that a woman is a treasure not to be toiled with.



Gee said...

So so so true!! really good post ( got to your blog from Honey dames') and I agree with everything you've said.. some Brothas in the church are not very Christ-like in their behaviour oh!

@ilola said...

I so hate hearing these kinds of things. When I find myself in confusing situations, I never fail to pray Jer 33:3 and I always ask God to show me the intents of people's hearts. Guess what, that prayer work.

The heart of man sha

NikkiSho said...

Happy new year :)

HoneyDame said...

Uhm...tough tough situations, cos from teh examples, it wasn't like the ladies weren't careful enough. Since these are realities from the church, I will just go with the prayer @ilola proposed.
May Christ have mercy.

Okeoghene said...

Happy New Year to you. It is such a pity that christian brothers will use christian sisters this way.

Anonymous said...

hi.i agree with most of what you've said Mo' but don't you think its a bit unfair to generalize and poison people's minds.we don't know the full story in these situations and sometimes matters of the heart are not that clear cut.not every guy is a player.Sometimes we need to remove our own emotions and previous bias and try to put ourselves in these guy's gals shouldn't be too quick to label a guy especially if we look to our intuition and know he's not the sort.

Omoregee said...

@ Gee....Experience they say is the best teacher, sometimes people don't fully comprehend the effects of a situation till they experience it. I'll say tho that knowledge can compete favourably with experience n it doesn't necessarily have to be a personal experience to learn. This is why we share.......thanks for coming over dear, I've been to yours before, remember the story post? :)

@Ilola......Amen! God does answer that prayer, it is only Him who can reveal the true person.

@NikkiSho.......Thanks Cutie :)

@HD...........The prayer radar always works! We cannot be too careful though......not all that glitters is gold o!

@Okeoghene.......Thank you, I share your sentiments o.

@Anonymous.......Hmmmmmn, is your mind poisoned? *raised eyebrows* See, I know the full story which I have shared and the extremities gives no room to shy away from calling a spade what it is. Mos def, not all guyz are playas......I haven't said that, mof, I know pretty decent and great guys. I understand the scenario of giving the benefit of the doubt, but this is not the case.......this is all so clear. I wrote this to let guys understand the importance of getting themselves together and defining what they want before stepping out n to also let the ladies know that emotions should be held under control until they have a confirmation of intention. Your intuition does not define who a person is, his actions do, because they are a reflection of his thots and heart. I leave you with these words from Mya Angelo.......
'If someone shows you who they are, believe them' Thanks for reading :)

2cute4u said...

Happy New to You dear!
Wishing you the very best this year has to offer!

Omoregee said...

Thanks 2cute4u........I wish you same!

'Damilare Odugbemi said...

Hmmm..Christian players indeed..I suspect those pairs are agemates..anyways this is my own comment based on my little experience in life;despite their high emotional sensitivity, most ladies get into relationships earlier than guys (5 years earlier in most cases)..most of which are just what I called "trial relationships"...the emotional experiences, heartbreaks, and fantasies many of them suffered for and experienced in previous relationships culminate to their attitude towards their (ladies) subsequent relationship..unfortunately, by the time they are rounding-off to tie the knot, the guy is just setting off on his own adventure..that's when you hear guys sayin "I'm taking my time", "let's court for some years more"...I was once a that kind of shoe!

My advice for ladies is to go for guys that are at least 3 years older than they are because these guys are in the best position to provide, cope with, and understand their expectations emotionally. Women build relationship, men build status..both should support each other on this to have a successful courtship and marriage.

In the midst of her said...

As the bible says "Guard your heart for out of it flows the issues of life..."

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Daughter of Her King said...

Preach preach preach it sister...

well said post...xx

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