Is Love really all that matters?

‘And always after all…….love is all that matters….’ Two hands in the air, waving, left-right style with the body swaying in tune………ok, stop the Diana Ross please!

Awhile ago, I put on FB- ‘is love really enough?’ and jeez, I got the highest number of comments ever! It was a debate that generated a lot of ruckus because peeps kept coming up with different and very interesting perspectives.

Love is patient, Love is kind and Love does not envy nor boast. Love is not proud, not rude n is not self-seeking. Love keeps no records of wrong n is not easily angered. Love doesn’t delight in evil, rejoices with n at the truth. Love perseveres n never fails.

Love believes all things, endures all things, covers all n is the greatest gift of all.

Peoples have different definitions of love- some say it is blind, some say it turns you into a stupido, others say it makes you weak. I was having ‘love-gist’ with a friend n he reminded me of that old definition youngsters give to love- Love is a feeling you feel when you feel a feeling you have never felt before! Panadol Please! Wahala!

Love remains a topic, issue, emotion that continually generates concern n interest. We can’t seem to shun love can we? It is disheartening though that the real meaning n essence of love has been basterdized n re-invented. Love to suit the present age, love like we like n want it to be, love to ease our conscience n excuse our behavior.

I always say that to get n know the true definition of love is to know n experience GOD. Oh Yes! God originated love, it is the essence of His being and it is who He is! There’s no way you can be tight with God n not have a profound understanding of love like He meant it to be.

Looking at the attributes of love in 1 Cor 13, I can say that if every single being was careful to do thus, this world would be a helluva of a better place. The two greatest commandments are about love; 1- You LOVE God with all your being n 2- You LOVE your neighbor as yourself. It really does seem like love is all we need to make the world a better place, it really should be enough for living. I mean Jesus came just because God loved the world. Its gotta be love, that should be the answer to it all. So, ama ask again, ‘is love really enough?’ Especially in relationships, is love really really enough to go all da way?

I stop to think. Jesus called it the GREATEST of all commandments, which means there are others. It is also the greatest gift of all, so, there are other gifts too. If love were all that we needed, why did they have to be others? Somebody? Anybody?

Here’s what I think. Love is KEY, VITAL, PRIORITY, but it isn’t all that there is to it, I dare to say it is not enough. Let’s check it out shall we?

Naturally or by design, I get to hear a lot of relationship gist n stories. Perfect couples you thought nothing could shake them coming apart, peoples you know love each other dearly walking away from each other, n I couldn’t help my mind. These guys love each other, why wasn’t it enough to make it last? I’ll tell you why.

Love may be the foundation of a relationship, it may be the main course of a meal but without the right building materials or the right appetizer/fluid, the essence of the ‘project’ may become watered. The first blink for a go-ahead should be love, but it shouldn’t stop there. What about values? What about purpose? What about belief systems? Credos? What about compatibility? Communication? Commitment? Family Upbringing? Shouldn’t these count?

Once upon a time, there was this guy I really liked, I can say I loved him, but we had issues communicating. In the end, I was frustrated. That’s what happens when we don’t build our love with the right materials. If love is built with conflicting values, wrong beliefs, differing expectations, un-equal commitment, what becomes of the love? This is why I always say that one cannot be too careful in guarding the heart! Once it begins to do marathon love race, the vision becomes beclouded. We begin to excuse things we normally wouldn’t even consider. Emotions are already in the way. Personally, the extent and information I have about a person influences how I feel about that person i.e. for me to love you, I have to know you to an extent; but we don’t get to know everything, do we?

Case Study- Dee meets Damon, Fireworks are all over, and they seem to have similar values n beliefs. Dee is the daughter of a pastor who got saved early n has lived her life for God. Damon is a politician’s son, his papa has 3 wives. He got saved during NYSC n has been doing his best to live for God. Dee keeps encouraging him n he falls head over heels in love with her. The feeling is mutual. They walk down the aisle n all seems to be rosy n well. First child n the second…..God is good. Dee always knew she had a calling, she wasn’t so given to politics but she supported her husband Damon who eventually became a politician too. Now, the impression is strong; Dee has to go on missionary duties, Damon is not too happy about that even though he promised not to interfere with her calling, more so he needs his wife around, the gubernatorial polls would look better with her by his side. They begin to argue n fight, eventually, Damon gives. He reasons, God’s been good to us n we have to serve him too. Long n short, Dee went on more n more duties n Damon got more n more lonely. Eventually, he called her up one day n told her about his decision to marry Clara. She had been very supportive n would be helpful in his political career. Dee cannot believe her ears; she feels hurt n betrayed n separates. She lives alone now.

OK, Ok. Now don’t even tell me that this is far-fetched. I do say it could have played out differently. There might have been more understanding n compromise but in this case, that’s how it happened. It doesn't also mean that a pastor’s daughter cannot marry a guy from a polygamous home, but she needs to be sure he is detached from that mentality.

What am I saying? It’s simple. Let love guard n rule your heart but do not let it becloud your choice of a marital partner. Love is not blind, it can see pretty well. Have you seen pointers of future hitches n you have been ignoring it? You keep considering the fact that you really love this person but are you sure your love can handle it when it blows up in your face? You better ask somebody. In a nut shell, let pure, genuine n God-like love lead the way but don’t forget to take with you it’s brothers n essentials. They make the dish very palatable. Now, it doesn’t mean trouble won’t come even so, but then you have a common ground to deal with it. If the foundation be faulty, what can you do? I also say, if your building materials be faulty, where do you go? What do you do?

Much Love!

P.S- Please excuse my long post, this issue has been on my mind for awhile n sure, I had a lot to say……*wink* LOL!