So, here I am at this mall *window shopping* and then I spot this really cute footwear. Now, knowing how unique my stature is and how my size is hard to come by (yea, really unique things come in small packages *wink*), I am sorely tempted to make the purchase. Then the deliberation begins; I remember the ones I have sitting in my rack back home yet to be worn, the stuff I just bought last week and how I promised myself I needed a purchase leave. But the slippers seemed to have my name on it and I could hear it whispering, saying ‘you know how good I can make you look’. Then I imagine myself stepping out in it, complete with the right outfit and accessories (smh). That was my undoing, for the slippers made it home with me, oh and two other outfits as well.
Ok, who was I deceiving? I was on a purchase leave, yet, I went ‘window shopping’ and took my credit card along. I set myself up and no, my bank account wasn’t pleased with me. I knew further purchase wasn’t the best for me at that time, it really wasn’t what I needed and I shouldn’t have done it, but I damned the consequences and did it anywayz…..setting back my budget and hurting my finances.
‘Guard your heart with all diligence for it will direct the course of your life’. Even in the mundane things, in every decision and choice, our hearts are involved. Whatever will manifest in your life must first of all take root in your heart, if it’s not implanted there, it won’t last. The heart is the staying strength that provides stability and firmness; stability in values, principles and character. This is why the instruction about guarding our hearts is pertinent, because just as it requires quite some effort to uproot a firmly rooted tree from the soil, so it is to uproot destructive habits and relationships from your heart and life. You can cut the stump but if the root is still there, it’s just gonna grow right back. To successfully deal with issues, we have to get to the root and get it out, only then would it cease to re-occur. See, what you know in your head cannot be compared to the knowledge that wells from your heart because that feedback has taken time to process, grow and re-produce.
I have come to learn that my heart and head have a relationship going on…..took awhile before they let me in on it though. Sometimes, they are in sync and other times, they have a beef. At these times, they usually wear me out and I find myself in a referee position, trying to decide who wins the tussle in that instance. I really think they should put up that facebook status sometimes, ‘it’s complicated’. Heart is trying to gain the upper hand, head isn’t having it and at the end of the day, I am just exasperated because really, they should be working together…..for my good.
Here’s how it works for me; when I learn something new, get a new revelation or insight, my head is usually the first to catch on, not always but usually. In trying to process and pass the new information to a fertile ground where it can grow and produce fruit (my heart), some things try to block it. They come in different forms: fear, unbelief, doubt, insecurity, low self-esteem, etc. – all emotions. If I haven’t erected the right barricade, these unwanted guests will come in to choke the new seed/word/info I just obtained and suck the life out of it rendering it powerless. However, if it indeed can gain root in my heart and grow, it would produce tremendous changes in my life.
The spirit that governs a man’s life influences the state of his heart and the quality of his life. Even God deals with us based on the state and meditation of our hearts and this depicts just how important the heart is and in no way undermines it. However, there are times when the heart can weak, slow or stubborn in accepting what is right and true and these are the times when leading your heart is more expedient than following it, I'm just saying you are the boss of what you lead, not what you follow so stop ‘following your heart’.
You know that you should let that guy go because he keeps abusing your emotions but you can’t seem to find the strength because your heart is weak and hurt. Your head is harping on the fact that you deserve better than a woman who manipulates you just for her gain but you are too entranced with her physical beauty and the sex you are getting. Yes, you know you deserve better, you hear it, you have the knowledge but you can’t seem to find the strength to make the change. Here’s what I propose……how about you do what you KNOW to be right, true and just and then deal with the emotions that come up after? How about you let the knowledge you have make the decision for you this time and then allow your emotions to catch up with it? It may take awhile and involve some healing process but I can guarantee that your emotions will eventually come into sync with your heart.
Choices made sentimentally or emotionally cannot be compared with a knowledge based decision. If you ask me, I’d say the choice of who you get to spend the rest of your life with should be made based on what you know and not what you feel. I find that I can be so emotionally involved with someone and possibly ‘in love’ but if there is an ish that presents incompatibility, I promptly let go. I ain’t gonna front and say it ain’t hard but perhaps because I know how important my choices are, especially this type of choice, I do what I need to do, what is best for me knowing my heart will eventually be fine.
Knowing isn't good enough, we have to apply the knowledge we have to experience true victory in our lives. You have the knowledge in your head, but you require the will that only comes from your heart to make it happen. Don’t wait for your feelings to get the memo, you do what you gat to do and it would eventually catch up, it wouldn't have a choice.
Mo’ Omoregee 2013