Thursday, July 15, 2010
TIME HEALS ALL 'DISEASES'
Tick says the clock,
What you have to do,
This nursery rhyme rhymes in my head right now and I think of how I often battle with procrastination; leaving till sometime later what I can and should do now! But that will be a discussion for another time, this note isn’t about procrastination, it is about the place of patience in our lives.
The average man wants and seeks instant gratification in his endeavors. You can remember how that wait to know your UME result almost ‘killed’ you, if you had your way you would have worked a system to get JAMB to release the results the same day you wrote the exams, or wanting to know how that job test/interview went and you just keep wondering what criteria and process they employed to make the call-back process take so long?
The bible says that for awhile the promises of God may not come and though they tarry, we should wait for them. ‘And we know that when we pray, the Father hears us and if He hears us, He answers our prayers according to how it pleases Him.’ This verse lets us know that each time we pray, God answers sharply, but it may take awhile to see the physical manifestation of our supplications. How patient enough are we to wait for it? Most times, we tend to lose heart when we do not get our requests and conclude that it is either God doesn’t want us to have what we’ve asked for or we are not properly aligned with God, and perhaps, just maybe the reason why you don’t have what you have asked for is because God is actually trying to work in you some patience, sort of a test, for how long can you tarry?
A lot of things I have come to find out produce and reveal their true state and nature when they go through the test of time, relationships and friendships especially. Ladies, you know when we buy that earring and the dealer is trying to convince us it is original gold/silver and won’t fade but just after six months, it begins to manifest in its true colour and ‘glory’, then we are convinced of the real worth of what we actually purchased. Relationships when tried through the time factor will reveal its true essence. Late Pastor Bimbo used to kick against a courtship of less than a year; personally, I think a year is actually not enough to spend with and get to know the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it’s forever we are talking about here. I would say it should be for as long as you need to be convinced. While it is impossible to know everything about your intended before marriage, it is important to know as much as you can in whatever time that is required. Proximity is a factor here. When both partners have access to each other daily and can engage in meaningful conversations, preferably physical, the ‘getting –to – know’ process is faster, but where distance and communication constitute a barrier, it takes a longer time. There’s this Yoruba saying that likens a person’s character to smoke, it is very difficult to hide smoke. Through and in time, a person’s true character will begin to manifest, no matter how much he/she tries to hide or disguise it. The person will just slip up and we should be sensitive to these slip ups. Time will allow you meet with your partner’s family and relate well with them, observe him/her with the family, how they relate and the values they uphold, do they all believe the same thing or it’s just him/her? Time could be an ‘eye opener’ or ‘veil remover’ to some things you didn’t notice or refused to notice.
Due to their advancement age wise, some ladies tend to rush both the friendship and courtship stage because they do not want to lose the only suitor that has come their way in 5 years. A question they should stop to ask themselves is if they would rather be single than have an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage? A friend shared this story of his friend with me; she (his friend) was 35 years old with no man coming for her. She kept lamenting and worrying and when eventually a man looked her way, she didn’t waste time in getting him to the altar. So, they met 2 years after the wedding with her second pregnancy and when asked how the married life was, she said she was in hell and not marriage. Her husband was on transfer and she was actually praying that he wouldn’t return. I pray we wouldn’t regret the choices we make in haste and in the heat of the moment. While even with time, except the Holy Spirit reveals some things to us, we might not discover some truths about our partner and so it is imperative that we depend upon the Holy Spirit to bring us to the knowledge of all that we need to know about our partner before we commit ourselves.
The Holy Spirit births patience in us, it is one of His fruits. A lifelong commitment is not something that should be rushed into. While you may be singing, ‘let’s grow old together’ now, I pray the song wouldn’t turn to ‘I can see clearly now, the rain is gone’. Please be that patient ‘dog’ that gets the fattest bone. Let time try your relationship.